the cake

A couple of months ago K saw a picture of a Barbie cake in a birthday cake cookbook that we have. It's one of those cakes where Barbie is wearing a large cake dress, and the actual Barbie body is the top of the cake.  She said right away that that's the cake she wanted for her birthday this year.  She also said she liked several others in the book, but kept coming back to the 'princess cake' as she called it.  Over the next few weeks, she held fast to that cake idea, but I never confirmed that that's the cake she would get, I would just listen to her and think about that cake. I was really nervous about attempting that cake for lots of reasons, mostly because I've never made a cake like that before, don't have a pan to bake it in, am nervous about my cake decorating ability, and her party was right after a couple really busy weeks at school for me.  And it was the one thing that she wanted for her party.  I didn't want to mess it up for her.  I wanted her to be happy.

I listened and asked questions about what she wanted for her party for a few weeks, she had lots of ideas just as most almost 5 year old girls do.  She likes both mermaids and princesses and kept going back and forth between the two.  I secretly hoped she would choose a mermaid party, because I knew someone who could make a darling mermaid cake.  But, in the end, she chose to have another princess party.  After this choice, I asked her about the cake, and she reminded me that she wanted a princess cake with the doll.  So, I asked a couple of friends who make cakes if they've ever made one, and they told me no they hadn't.  I watched several youtube vidoes about it, but just got nervous about making the cake that she wanted.  One evening I asked K if she wanted to be able to play with the doll after the party, and she said 'of course'.  I thought I'd found my opening, and I convinced her that she really wanted the doll, not the cake.  I promised to buy her a Barbie doll that she could actually play with, and that I'd make her some pretty cupcakes for her party.  She seemed content, but I felt horrible.  I made her believe something that wasn't true.  It ate at me for a couple of days.

These butterfly cupcakes are a classic in my family.  I've had several birthdays celebrated with them, they were served at the kids' baby shower a few years ago, and I made them for K's princess party.  They are pretty, girly & yummy.  I also made sparkly pink cupcakes.

"Keep trying. Don't give up. Hard things are worth it."  That's what I imagine saying to K many, many times in the future. These are the thoughts that kept going through my mind when I'd think about the cake that K really wanted.  I felt like I'd let her down.  I felt sad.  I wanted her to be happy. I started my research about the Barbie cake again, and borrowed a pan from a friend just a week before the party.  I also watched more youtube videos, and I didn't tell K what my plan was.  

The night before the party, after the kids were asleep, I started the cake.  I didn't want K to know what I was trying to do.  I didn't want her to be let down.  I finally told myself, that if I failed, she wouldn't know about it, and that she'd have pretty cupcakes anyway.  

Thank goodness for youtube!  I baked the cake, let it cool, iced it, and used store bought flowers to jazz it up.  I finished in the wee hours of the morning, but I knew she would be happy.

Just thinking about K's face and what her reaction would be brought tears to my eyes. She would get her cake.  I know it's not perfect, but as a 5 year old, I knew she wouldn't be too critical.  I was happy with it.

So, the morning of the party came, we had decorations out, people over, food being eaten and the cake being hidden.  When it came time for the cake, we had her hide her eyes as we brought out the princess cake.  She hid her eyes until we said "open up!"  What a good girl.  I grabbed my camera so that I could catch her reaction.

Seeing K's face was the best moment of the party for me.  She. was. thrilled.  I was in Momma heaven.  I had made her so happy.

I'm so glad that I took a leap and tried something that I thought was hard.  I didn't want to let her down.  I hope to always remember the lesson of the cake, and continue to try when failure might happen.  Good things may happen too.

I love you K, you are my favorite little girl in the whole wide world!